You may not deserve good fortune but enjoy it anyway

Good fortune is a curious phenomenon that often graces those who have diligently saved and invested over time. Yet, there are instances when our good luck exceeds our expectations, leading to what many refer to as "money guilt." This feeling can arise from the perception that we don’t truly deserve the favorable circumstances we find ourselves in, particularly when others may be struggling.

In our vast world of nearly eight billion people, it’s natural to question why we have the jobs we do or the financial successes we've achieved. Why, for example, did you have the foresight to invest in a company during its early stages, becoming a perceived investment genius? These thoughts can create a sense of guilt, making you wonder if you really deserve such good fortune. However, perhaps it’s time to embrace your success, acknowledging that if you don’t capitalize on opportunities, someone else certainly will.

Unexpected Financial Positives to Consider

As I reflect on my own financial situation, I can’t help but feel a heightened sense of fortune lately. Like many others, I’ve witnessed a rebound in my stock portfolio following the bear market of 2022. While seeing my investments recover is a relief, it also leaves me with mixed feelings. After all, no significant effort was exerted to make this rebound possible, causing a twinge of guilt.

This sense of guilt is compounded by the understanding that passive income can sometimes feel undeserved. Ironically, the very nature of dividend-paying stocks—often regarded as one of the best passive income investments—creates this paradox.

Another unexpected boon has been the decline in luxury home prices in the San Francisco area. When I purchased my current home in 2020, I anticipated it wouldn’t be my forever home, primarily seeking a fully remodeled place to ride out the pandemic while my previous residence was undergoing renovations.

Current statistics indicate that housing prices in San Francisco have dropped between 5% and 20%, depending on the market segment. High-end properties, which often come with excessive features that many don’t need, have seen the steepest declines. In contrast, homes priced around the median have only marginally decreased, as they remain within reach for more buyers.

Reflecting on my past, I realize I would have paid 18% more for my current home last year, but at that time, I lacked the financial resources to close the deal. My eagerness to buy even led me to consider borrowing from a friend, which is often an awkward situation to navigate.

Ultimately, a 20% rebound in my stock portfolio coupled with an 18% drop in housing prices feels like a double blessing. However, it also carries an unsettling sense of unreality.

How to Overcome Feelings of Guilt About Good Fortune

Amidst media narratives focusing on the unaffordability of housing due to high mortgage rates and limited inventory, I find myself pondering the positives—such as the increase in our investment portfolios and net worths. Why not also celebrate the chance to buy at lower prices?

Shopping for a home with little competition feels incredibly rewarding, akin to taking an easy spelling test as an adult. The thought of acquiring a lovely home for my family, even with my children living with us, excites me.

If and when mortgage rates decrease, today’s homebuyers will have the option to refinance and potentially avoid bidding wars in the future—a valuable strategy I have learned over my 20 years of real estate investment. I aim to make my purchases wisely, steering clear of a frenzied market.

To combat the guilt surrounding my good fortune, I’ve committed to creating more content. Writing has become a means of alleviating my feelings of undeserved success, and remarkably, it has worked. The act of sharing knowledge and helping others has significantly reduced my guilt.

The Significance of Hard Work in Easing Money Guilt

Consider the scenario of someone born into wealth as a trust fund child or a nepo baby. If you find yourself in such a position and feel guilty about receiving unearned wealth, one way to alleviate this feeling is by contributing to the workforce—perhaps through a trust fund job, which can provide a sense of purpose.

Taking it a step further, engaging in work that benefits others can be even more fulfilling. By helping others achieve their good fortune, you can gradually erase your feelings of guilt. Volunteering your time to those in need is another powerful way to counteract feelings of inadequacy regarding your success.

Giving away money can also help reduce money guilt, but it’s vital to remember that giving away wealth you didn’t actively earn may not be as effective as direct volunteer work. The sense of fulfillment that comes from making a tangible difference in someone’s life is often more rewarding.

Using platforms like Financial Samurai, I aim to support individuals on their financial journeys. Readers can subscribe to my newsletter without a paywall and access my podcast on platforms like Apple and Spotify for free, as I share insights in hopes of helping others achieve financial independence.

Recognizing Your Past Efforts

If you’re not an heir to a fortune, it’s crucial to remember the hard work you've already invested to reach your current position. It’s all too easy to forget the sacrifices that led to your achievements.

Consider these examples of dedication:

• Postponing family planning to focus on career growth, resulting in challenges later.
• Working extended hours for years to save for a home down payment.
• Engaging in side hustles to fund family vacations.
• Studying rigorously in high school and college to graduate with honors.
• Waking up early for personal projects or professional development.
• Volunteering consistently to give back to the community.
• Offering mentorship to those in need out of genuine desire to help.

When you assist others, you cultivate a cycle of good fortune. Some refer to this as karma. Conversely, a self-centered attitude may lead to feelings of guilt, especially if one comes from privilege without giving back.

Understanding the Nature of Fortune and Misfortune

It's vital to acknowledge that good fortune is often fleeting. Eventually, challenges will arise, and you may find yourself lamenting your bad luck. When those moments occur, reflect on the good times you’ve already experienced.

In my case, I estimate a 70% chance that the home I plan to purchase will continue to decrease in value after my acquisition. The real estate market takes time to stabilize after a downturn, and I anticipate facing unforeseen issues like maintenance repairs.

In light of this, I remind myself that this too shall pass. It’s essential not to become overly ecstatic during prosperous times, as circumstances are always in flux. Conversely, I strive to maintain my spirit during difficult moments, recognizing that like all things, this too will change.

The parable of the Chinese farmer perfectly encapsulates this notion:

The Parable of the Chinese Farmer

A farmer and his son owned a beloved horse that was vital for their livelihood. One day, the horse ran away, prompting the neighbors to exclaim, “What terrible luck!” The farmer simply replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

A few days later, the horse returned, bringing several wild horses along. The neighbors then said, “What great luck!” Again, the farmer responded, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

Later that week, the farmer’s son attempted to ride one of the wild horses but was thrown off, breaking his leg. The neighbors exclaimed, “What terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

Shortly afterward, soldiers marched through the village, recruiting all able-bodied boys for the army. Because of his injury, the farmer’s son was spared from service. The neighbors hailed this as “tremendous luck!” And yet, the farmer remained nonchalant, stating, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

Practicing Gratitude in Everyday Life

When life feels overwhelming or you're dissatisfied with certain aspects, it’s helpful to take a step back and practice gratitude.

• Be thankful for living in a stable country, free from war.
• Appreciate your health and the well-being you still possess.
• Recognize the friends who consistently reach out to check on you.
• Value your family, despite any frustrations they may cause.
• Cherish your job and colleagues; many face challenges in finding work.
• Embrace the convenience of earning money through flexible means.
• Revel in the fleeting moments with your young children, as they grow quickly.
• Be grateful for every opportunity to attempt something new.

For a different perspective, consider five unusual things I’m grateful for. This exercise helps shift focus to the positives in life.

Engaging with Readers: Questions and Insights

Do you ever feel guilty about your good fortune? Have you experienced a winning streak that left you anxious about what might come next? How do you handle feelings of guilt associated with your success?

To enhance your good fortune, consider investing in real estate during market downturns. With fewer buyers due to high interest rates, opportunities abound. One option is to dollar-cost average into private real estate funds, such as Fundrise, which manages over $3.3 billion for more than 480,000 investors, primarily in emerging markets.

For more insights, listen to The Financial Samurai podcast available on Apple and Spotify. I engage with experts across various fields, tackling intriguing topics you might find beneficial. Be sure to share, rate, and review!

For additional personal finance insights, join over 60,000 subscribers by signing up for the free Financial Samurai newsletter and receive updates via email. Financial Samurai is an independently-owned personal finance site established in 2009, aiming to provide valuable resources to our readers.

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